We Got The Beet!

This week I was asked by famed blogger and foodie extraordinaire Chef Dennis to do a guest post over at More Than A Mount Full. You may be curious as to how I weaseled my way onto a legitimate site with actual relevancy in the culinary world...well, I don’t know either. But I like it. So let's keep the act going.

Head on over to check out my post, along with some other ridiculous recipes and food photography that makes mine look like the equivalent of a little kid who can't draw inside the lines. At least my mom would still put it on the fridge. Eh...right mom?

We Got The Beet!- Beet Salad w/ Walnuts and Spinach

Paying Homage to Dr. Suess

I do not like

green eggs

and ham!

I do not like them,

Sam-I-am.

You do not like them.

SO you say.

Try them! Try them!

And you may.

Try them and you may I say.

Sam!

If you will let me be,

I will try them.

You will see.

Green Eggs and Ham

Ingredients:

3 eggs

1 cp fresh spinach

2 tb pesto

splash of water

salt and pepper to taste

ham (Canadian bacon, smoked

pork loin, ham steaks, bacon, etc.)

Directions: (serves 1)

1. In a blender, combine eggs, spinach, pesto, water, salt, and pepper (optional).

2. Scramble eggs as you normally would. Fry up the ham. Done!

Say!

I like green eggs and ham!

I do! I like them, Sam-I-am!

And I would eat them in a boat!

And I would eat them with a goat.

And I will eat them in the rain.

And in the dark. And on a train.

And in a car. And in a tree.

They are so good so good you see!

Are You Ready For Some Football?

For most of the Free World, a calendar year is broken up into four distinct seasons: winter, spring, summer, and fall. But for a particularly special group of people, it is broken up into only two: football season, and waiting for football season. If you find yourself in the latter group, then you know what time it is.

The thrill of NFL preseason came and went a few weeks ago (ie- about 10 minutes after the first kickoff). This, of course, gave way to the unsurmountable anticipation of a regular season romp. This week, fans can take comfort in knowing that tonight will be the last Monday night of 2k10 without the pigskin, starting off with a season opener straight from the Superdome. And yes, that means Reggie Bush will be making a cameo. Now that's a piece of chocolate I just can't resist. But I digress.

On the NCAA front, collegiate teams just finished up their first week of play. For most, it served as a fun opportunity to play confidence-boosting cupcake teams and a precursor for what's in store this upcoming season. For my alma mater, it was a fairly unconvincing way to prepare for a road trip down to Tuscaloosa next week to play the #1 team in the nation. Hmm...cheers to Joepa and true freshmen anyone?!

Anyway, let's kick-off the season by sharing some of our favorite tailgating foods and recipes. After all, if you find yourself playing me in beer pong this year, you will need something to absorb all of that Natty Light you'll be drinking (red party cups tap into my competitive nature). I won the coin toss, so I'll go first:

Vanilla Beer Nuts

Buffalo Chicken Dip

Bison Burgers w/ Balsamic Onions and Roasted Garlic Mayo

Lemon Parmesan Orzo

Marshmallow Pecan Brownies

I showed you mine, now you show me yours. What are your favorite tailgating foods and recipes?

Vanilla Beer Nuts

This recipe hails straight from the comments section of Cheers to Sobriety! (Pears in Red Wine Sauce). See what happens when you comment, people?! So a big shout out and thank you to "Anonymous" a.k.a. Mike P. (a fellow Big 10er from IU) for giving us this tailgating treat.

To show my gratitude, I will resist the overwhelming urge to make inappropriate yet hilarious jokes about how our friendship almost ended in a restraining order. Good times.

Beer Nuts*

Ingredients:
1 lb salted, roasted peanuts (no honey roasted, clashes with beer)
2 cans beer (a real man beer...no light beer here!)
1 cp sugar
2 tb vanilla extract

Directions: (serves 4 during summer, 2 during football season)
1. Bring all ingredients, besides peanuts, to a boil in a medium saucepan. Reduce heat and simmer until liquid is reduced by half. Add peanuts and let simmer an additional 10 minutes. Remove from saucepan, lay out on a foil-lined pan, and let cool.

*Recipe has been altered slightly because he really didn't know what the heck he was talking about.

Featured in "Are You Ready For Some Football?"

Buffalo Chicken Dip

I ate a ton of this every weekend while tailgating in college, which probably (ok, DEFINITELY) contributed to my achievement of a very special collegiate rite of passage, "The Freshman 15". Except, being the over-achiever that I am, I actually gained 30 pounds instead. Why be like everyone else, right?

Of course you can lighten this up by using 1/3 less fat cream cheese, 2% cheddar cheese, and chicken breast...but then what's the point?! It's sinful, it's fattening, and it's worth every calorie. So if you're gonna do it, do it right!

Buffalo Chicken Dip

Ingredients:

1/2 rotisserie chicken, meat cut or broken up into bite-sized pieces

2- 8 oz blocks of Philly cream cheese

1.5 cp shredded cheddar cheese

1 cp ranch dressing (can use blue cheese)

3/4 cp Frank's Red Hot

1/3 cp celery, finely sliced

Directions:

1. In a large saucepan, heat up all of the ingredients on medium to medium-high heat, stirring continuously until well-combined and heated through. Transfer to a crockpot on it's lowest setting or a large bowl and garnish with celery leaves. Best served warm, but can be served cold or room-temp as well. Serve alongside crackers and raw veggies.

Featured in "Are You Ready For Some Football?"

Bison Burgers w/ Balsamic Onions and Roasted Garlic Mayo

Bison meat is a bit of a financial splurge, but what it lacks in budget-friendly pricing, it makes up for with outrageous flavor and countless nutritional benefits. It's leaner, sweeter, and much more decadent than it's beefy competitors. In this case, I was able to cut some costs by keeping the patties small (a little bigger than a slider) and only inviting people over that I actually like to eat them with me. Sorry if you didn’t make the cut.

Since we're emptying out the piggy bank for the protein, you might as well forgo the regular buns and iceberg lettuce as well. Pick up some freshly baked rolls and a good head of Boston Bibb to go with the onions and flavored mayo (which p.s.- is out of control). Lastly, because of it’s low fat content, you'll want to keep the bison meat cooked to medium-rare at most! It tastes so much better, and the bison would have wanted it that way. Okie dokie, let’s get started.

Bison Burgers w/ Balsamic Onions and Roasted Garlic Mayo

Ingredients:

2 lb ground bison

salt and pepper to taste

6 freshly baked rolls, toasted

fancy lettuce (I used Boston Bibb)

sliced jalapenos (optional)

mayo

1 cp mayonnaise

1 head of garlic

1 tb olive oil

pinch of salt

1-2 tb garlic powder

onions

1 onion, sliced

1/2 cp balsamic vinegar

2 tb olive oil

salt and pepper to taste

Directions:

1. Start with the mayo. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Cut the top of the garlic head off, exposing the cloves. Drizzle oil and a pinch of salt over the cloves. Wrap whole head in aluminum foil and bake for 45 minutes. Remove from oven and squeeze cloves into a food processor. Add garlic powder and mayo. Blend until smooth.

2. Now for the onions. In a large frying pan, heat up olive oil over medium heat. Add onions, salt, and pepper. Cook about 5 minutes. Add balsamic vinegar, crank up the heat to medium-high and cook until vinegar is reduced and you are left with beautifully caramelized onions. *Keep an eye on the onions and lower the heat if necessary!

3. Onto the burgers. Form 6 even patties, season with salt and pepper. Cook the burgers to medium-rare (I used my grill for this, but you can use a frying pan as well). Cooking time will vary depending on size of burgers, but start with a few minutes per side.

4. Assemble. Slather the mayo on both sides of the toasted bun. Add the onions, lettuce, and some jalapenos if you like the heat.

Featured in "Are You Ready For Some Football?"

Lemon Parmesan Orzo

To be honest, I'm not entirely amped by this recipe. For tailgating, it's a refreshing alternative to the mayo-laden macaroni and potato salads, while still being muted enough to let the burgers and other game day accoutrements shine through. But on it's own, it can be pretty Plain Jane...and that little lady is NOT welcomed around these parts.

But don't fret, this Plain Jane isn't completely hopeless, she's just in need of a little pizazz! Think Kalamata olives, a blend of spices, some type of protein, and/or a sexy pair of stilettos to round out the look (she wears a size 8). If you can think of anything, let me know. Perhaps I will revamp this recipe for a future post, channel my inner Maury Povich, and do a "You Used to Make Fun of Me- But Look At Me Now!" type of thing. Cheers to the personification of foods. Now let's roll.

Lemon Parmesan Orzo

Ingredients:

1 box orzo

3/4 cp parmesan cheese

1 pint cherry tomatoes, halved

juice of 2 lemons, more to taste

1/2 cup fresh basil, chopped

1/4 cp olive oil

1/4 cp canola oil

salt and pepper to taste

Directions: (Makes a TON...can easily be halved)

1. Cook orzo according to directions, then rinse under cold water to stop the cooking.

2. Add the remaining ingredients and stir until combined.

Featured in "Are You Ready For Some Football?"

Marshmallow Pecan Brownies

When it comes to The 7 Deadly Sins, more often than not I'll go with Gluttony as my preferred route to immorality. Moderation is not my strong point, and this recipe brilliantly exploits that. Needless to say, I'm going to devour most of these brownies before sundown. And I will like it.

Besides, whenever I look for guidance in life and meaningful advice, I turn to song lyrics. In this case, I think Billy Joel said it best: "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. The sinners are much more fun." And by fun, he definitely meant eating brownies...I saw it on Wiki.

So now you have an important decision to make. Are you going to go with The Man from Up Above and arguably the Creator of this cool place we call Earth, or a 6-time Grammy Award winner and one of the best-selling solo artists of all time?

While you decide, I'm going to go preheat my oven.

Marshmallow Pecan Brownies

Ingredients:

Brownies

2 cp sugar

1.5 cp flour

1 stick butter

4 oz semisweet chocolate

1/2 cp unsweetened cocoa

4 eggs

2 ts vanilla extract

1 ts salt

10.5 oz bag of mini marshmallows

1 cp chopped pecans

Frosting

1/2 stick butter, softened

1/3 cp unsweetened cocoa

1/3 cp milk

1 lb powdered sugar

2 ts vanilla extract

pinch of salt

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Microwave 1 stick of butter and 4 oz semisweet chocolate until melted and well-combined. Mix in all other "Brownie" ingredients, besides marshmallows and pecans, and pour into a greased baking pan. Bake until toothpick comes out clean. This can be anywhere from 20-40 minutes, depending on size of pan.

2. Remove from oven, dump the bag of marshmallows over the brownies, and bake for another 8-10 minutes. Remove from oven.

3. Using a whisk or electric beaters, whip up all of the frosting ingredients. Pour over brownies and spread in a thin layer. Sprinkle chopped pecans on top.

Featured in "Are You Ready For Some Football?"

TOFU CHALLENGE ENDS IN WALK-OFF HOMERUN

Last week, the stage was set for a knock-down, drag-out battle between myself and Gina of FiMP to see whose tofu cuisine reigns supreme. Not one to take a challenge lightly, I used most of the week to prepare myself. I decided to go the traditional route: Wheaties, weight-lifting, and performance enhancing drugs.

Unfortunately, I learned that none of those things actually help when it comes to working with curdled soybean milk. Who knew?! But I did lose 2 pounds in the process, and I became an absolute beast in the batting cages. In a way, I already felt like a winner!

But alas, I still had a promise to uphold, and that was to crank out a competition-worthy tofu dish by this Friday. Left with nothing but my basic instincts and a strong sense of pride, I headed straight for the grill. Let's play ball!

Grilled Tofu and Veggies* w/ Pesto

Ingredients:
1 block extra firm tofu, patted dry and cut into wedges
1 zucchini, sliced lengthwise
1 portobello mushroom, cut into strips
1 red bell pepper, cut into thick strips
1/2 eggplant, sliced lengthwise
1/2 red onion, cut into thick slices
3/4 cp pesto (store-bought or homemade)
1/4 cp olive oil for pesto, extra for brushing
salt, pepper, and crushed red pepper to taste
parmesan cheese, toasted pine nuts, and fresh basil for garnish



Directions: (serves 4)
1. Set grill to medium heat. Brush tofu, zucchini, portobello, bell pepper, eggplant, and onion with olive oil. Season everything with salt, pepper, and crushed red pepper. Grill 5 minutes per side, check for doneness. Grill longer if necessary. Remove from heat when done.

2. Assemble veggies on a platter. Top with slices of tofu. Whisk together pesto and 1/4 olive oil until combined, and pour sauce over everything. Garnish with parmesan cheese, toasted pine nuts, and fresh basil. Woot woot.

*Yea, I know most of the produce listed here aren't technically vegetables. For all intents and purposes, let's just go with it.


But Wait...There's More!!!


Tofu Key Lime Pie

Ingredients:
1 block firm tofu
8 oz cream cheese (you know it's gotta be Philly)
1 pkg instant Jello Vanilla Pudding Mix
1/2 cp key lime juice (yes, you can sub reg lime)
1-2 tb agave syrup or other sweetener
pinch of salt
1 prepared graham cracker crust

Directions: (serves 6-8)
1. In a blender or food processor, combine tofu and key lime juice until smooth. Add the remaining ingredients and combine until smooth. Give it a taste. If it's too sour, add more sweetener. Regular limes tend to be more sour than key limes, in case you're curious.

2. Pour mixture into pie crust. Refrigerate at least 2-3 hours.

3. If the pie doesn't up correctly, you have two choices: serve it up as a pudding or throw it in the freezer to harden. It's incredibly difficult to predict what consistency you will end up with when using tofu, because it's always different. Don't let it get you down, it's delicious no matter how you slice it! (couldn't resist)

7 days, 3 boxes of cereal, hundreds of reps, and 2 banned substances later, here is the final product. Would I say it was worth it? You're damn right it was.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have an acceptance speech and a baseball swing to work on.










**Update: Gina posted her entry- Tofu Picatta w/ a side of Baked Rice,Tomato, Spinach, and Tofu. Not gonna lie, I'm a little impressed. Capers and garlic make me weak in the knees, and she took it to the nines. Well played Gina, you have proven to be quite the adversary...this time around.

Jam Out With Your Clam Out: Clams w/ Bacon and Beer

I've been known to jam out with my clam out on more than a few occasions. Let's be honest, I did go to college...it's a cultural thing! My stories as a Penn Stater read like the who's who of collegiate men residing in Central Pennsylvania between 2003-2007. That's a lot of late-night study sessions. So Mom and Dad, if you're reading this- don't say I didn't learn anything!

But I'll stop there. After all, I am a woman of integrity, damn it! And if I go any further, my parents will make me change my name and ask that I never contact them again. Wait a sec...a blessing and a curse.

On second thought, I'm going to need my #2 pencil and a calculator for this one:


Did I set that up correctly, or did I forget to put it all over 2a? I was never good at polynomials.

Regardless, I'm going to hold off on the clam chronicles for now, at least until December 25th (the proof is in the algebra). Instead, let's switch gears and focus on the fact that all week I've been coming up with brilliant ways to sneak alcohol into my favorite foods. I present to you my latest creation: Clams w/ Bacon and Beer!

Clams w/ Bacon and Beer
Ingredients:
2 lbs clams (I used Steamers)
6 slices bacon, chopped
1 medium onion, sliced
3 cloves garlic, minced
16 oz. (1 bottle) beer
salt and pepper to taste
chopped fresh parsley for garnish

Directions: (serves 4)
1. In a large saucepan, fry bacon over medium heat until crisp. Remove bacon and set aside, leaving bacon grease in pan.

2. Reduce heat to low. Add onions, garlic, salt (about 1tb), and pepper to the saucepan and cook in the bacon grease for about 5 minutes.

3. Add beer to the pan and bring to a boil over high heat. Scrape off all of the delicious caramelized bits from the bottom of the pan that got stuck there during cooking. This is called "deglazing a pan". And it's awesome.

4. Rinse clams under cold water. Add them to the saucepan, reduce heat to medium, cover with a lid, and cook 6-10 minutes (or until the clams open up).

5. Taste the broth, season if necessary. Serve the clams in a large bowl with the broth. Garnish with the bacon and fresh parsley.

*How To Eat Steamers: Open the clam, peel off and discard the black neck covering, and remove meat from the shell. Holding the clam by the neck, dip it in the broth and shove the whole thing into your mouth. So good.

TOFU CHALLENGE: It's on Like Donkey Kong

I've been challenged by fellow foodaholic, restaurant critic extraordinaire, and most recently master of delusion Gina over at Food Is My Porn to a TOFU DUEL. She thinks I can't make tofu as sexual and delectable as she can. Perhaps she should write a blog about what it's like to live under a rock.

Although I live and die by the meat stick now, once upon a time I was an aspiring little vegan. What's that Gina? You date a famous Chef? Good. It'll feel that much better when I beat you BOTH into submission. Bring it.

P.S.- Thanks for throwing up the Frat Rat picture of me circa 2k5 on your blog. It just fuels my inability to take part in clean, healthy competition. I expect a tofu post up by next Friday. See you there.

My Guilty Pleasure: PB and Bacon

A few weeks ago, we discussed "What's Your Guilty Food Pleasure?". There were the usual suspects...ice cream, peanut butter, fried food, cheesy food, and a tangy little mustard with pretzels. There were the unusual suspects...cherries, cannoli cream, and a Britney Spears cameo (thanks SeeAliEatSeeAliRun). And then there was this:

"Cheese & peanut butter...together! as a sandwich! Take 2 slices of Kraft American Singles and fill the middle with Skippy Extra Chunky Peanut Butter.... and voila! A peanut butter & cheese sandwich!"- Erica

Ok, umm that's just sick Erica. But I must admit, I admire your enthusiasm and culinary bravado (as long as you keep the latter far away from me).

So now I bet you're dying to know what my Guilty Food Pleasure is. Oh, wait...you're not? That's alright, because I'm going to tell you anyway. It's a Peanut Butter and Bacon Sandwich on Eggo Waffles. It was the fuel of my childhood, and still is one of the best things that's ever happened to me.

Why? Sinfully rich, creamy peanut butter. Crisp, aromatic bacon. Freshly-toasted, buttery Eggos (hit me with the Homestyle). Even on their own, these foods are enough to make me weep. But when brought together, they have a synergistic effect that makes my life worth living. Get it girl!



Peanut Butter and Bacon Sandwich
Ingredients:
2 frozen Eggo waffles
2 tb peanut butter
2 slices thick-cut bacon (more like 5)

Directions: (serves 1)
1. Fry up the bacon, toast the waffles, and brew a pot of coffee (you'll want to dip the sandwich in it, TRUST ME).

2. Assemble sandwich. Love your life.

Cheers to Sobriety! (Pears in Red Wine Sauce)

My boyfriend told me that I should drink less. I told him that he should drink more. He asked me if I could go a week without alcohol. I asked him, "Does wine count?"

I love my boyfriend and I love the Jesus juice. Thus, I am presented with a classic case of internal conflict: being a lush vs. being in lust. Let's evaluate. On one hand, I have something that always puts a smile on my face, is generally sweet, has a nice body, ages gracefully, and keeps me begging for more. On the other hand, I have my boyfriend.

(cricket...cricket...cricket...)

We settle on a compromise. I agree to embark on a week-long sabbatical from the hard stuff to appease the boy-toy, as long as I can still cook with it in order to appease my inner boozehound. Here goes nothing. First up: Pears in Red Wine Sauce.

Pears in Red Wine Sauce
Ingredients:
4 pears, peeled
2 cps red wine (I used Franciscan Cabernet Sauvignon 2k6)
1 cp sugar
2 tb lemon juice
2 ts vanilla extract
1 ts cinnamon
pinch of salt

Directions: (serves 4)
1. Bring all ingredients, besides pears, to a boil in a medium saucepan. Reduce heat and simmer pears for 10 minutes. Flip pears and let simmer for another 10 minutes. Remove pears from saucepan and let cool.

2. Boil wine sauce until it is reduced by half. Once reduced, gently put pears back into the sauce, coating them so they are poised for a stunning presentation. Spoon sauce onto the center of a plate, stand pear up in the middle, and garnish with some cinnamon sticks and lemon rind if you have them. Awesome blossom.

Do I Make You Corny, Baby?

Simple carbohydrates...white bread, white pasta, white rice. Ohhh, the mediocrity. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt and let them do their thing at mealtime, but what do they do? They just lie there on the plate and let the other foods do all the work (like my ex). It's better than nothing, I suppose. But I'm always left wanting more, and not in a good way.

When it comes to a starchy side dish, I need something a little more complex. I have a few go-to whole grains in my arsenal, but truthfully, I prefer the satiating power of legumes and fresh vegetables instead. Today, we have somewhat of a hybrid: corn. Technically a grain, more commonly thought of as a starchy vegetable. Either way, I'm sold. Cue the Grilled Corn Salad.






Grilled Corn Salad
Ingredients:
4 ears corn on the cob, cooked (great use of leftovers!)
1 poblano pepper, finely diced
1/2 medium red bell pepper, diced
2 tb red onion, finely diced

Dressing:
1/4 cp vegetable or canola oil
1 tsp chili powder
2 tsp fresh cilantro, chopped (sub parsley)
salt and pepper to taste
lime wedges for garnish

Directions (serves 4):
1. Since the corn is already cooked, just grill the cobs over high heat, rotating every few minutes, until the cob is 1/4 black, 3/4 yellow. Remove from heat and let cool.

2. Using a sharp knife, cut kernels off the cob. Add kernels to a medium bowl with poblano, bell pepper, and onion. In a small bowl, whisk together oil, chili powder, cilantro, salt, and pepper. Add dressing to corn mixture and stir until coated. Taste and season appropriately.

3. Squeeze some lime juice over the top and garnish with more cilantro and lime wedges.

Meat Suggestion: You already have the grill on. Let's pair this salad with some big, juicy burgers.

Some Like it Raw: Black Sesame-Crusted Tuna w/ Ponzu Dipping Sauce

What's sexier than navigating your way through a meal of dead fish, armed with nothing but a lousy set of chopsticks that cause said fish to get all over your face and plate? Everything. Add over-sized bites, malfunctioning edamame, and one (or 5) too many sake bombs? Check please.

But you have to admit, all of the above makes for quite the entertaining evening. Sushi dates are a fun, playful, and interactive way to chow down and get to know someone. Plus, I'm a sucker for any food outing where the sharing of plates is encouraged, it's socially acceptable to order a bunch of different menu items, and you don't have to worry about which utensil is your salad fork (hint: it's 2nd to the left).

So next time eel sauce starts dribbling down your chin, laugh it off! Maybe your date will think it's endearing. Maybe not. Regardless, if you can't laugh at yourself then you probably aren't that fun of a date anyway. It's better they find out now.

This dish is a painstakingly easy way to bring that vibe into your own home. I'll supply the how-to, you supply the lousy chopsticks and a good time. Let's roll.

Ingredients:
1-1.5 lbs Ahi (a.k.a. Yellowfin) tuna steaks
1/2 cp black sesame seeds
2 tb canola or vegetable oil
salt to taste
store-bought Ponzu sauce (found in Asian section)

Directions: (serves 4)
1. Spread sesame seeds and salt on plate. Coat tuna on all sides.

2. Add oil to a frying pan set on medium-high heat and sear tuna about 30 sec- 1 minute per side, longer according to preference. Make sure you get the sides too!

3. Remove from heat and refrigerate steaks at least 15 minutes to give the tuna a nice chill. This makes a huge difference in taste.

4. Slice tuna and serve with Ponzu sauce on the side. Add store-bought seaweed salad and a ball of sushi rice cooked according to package. Easy.

Piece of Meat Hits the Street

What Is Your Guilty Food Pleasure?

Dip your French fries in your Frosty every time you hit up the Wendy's drive-thru?

Eat peanut butter straight from the jar?

Fight with your long-distance boyfriend about not visiting you from Germany just so you have an excuse to kill a pint of Ben & Jerry's Mint Chocolate Cookie in bed? (It was worth it.)

Comment below with your guilty food pleasure if you know what's up.

You Only Turn 30 Once, Right Dad?

Once upon a time, I gave Hans Hanson the gift of fatherhood. And to have me as a daughter, well I'm just the gift that keeps on giving. So what do you do for the man who already has it all? Dinner!

My dad stopped celebrating his birthday a long time ago, but that obviously hasn't stopped me from doing so. I could never pass up the opportunity to make a special dinner for my father that says "Happy birthday, I love you sooooo much. Can I have $20?"

This year I went all out. Hey, I love the old man (and if I can get that $20 bumped up to a $50, Verizon and I would be ever so thankful). The birthday menu included Italian Sausage with Crusty Bread, Corn on the Cob, Mixed Greens with Champagne Vinaigrette, Alaskan King Crab Legs, and a Trio of Butters- Jalapeno Butter, Garlic Butter, and the triumphant return of the Vanilla Bean Butter. Served atop newspaper for a rustic feel.

This meal looks and tastes extravagant, but it practically cooks itself. Let's do it.


Ingredients:
1-2 lbs Italian Sausage links, cut into bite-sized pieces
1 white onion, sliced
2 tb olive oil
corn on the cob (2 per person...you can always use the leftovers)
2-3 lbs Alaskan King crab legs
1 large loaf of bread, broken into large pieces by hand
1 bunch parsley, chopped

Salad:
4 cps mixed greens
1 large tomato, wedged
2 tb champagne vinegar
1/2 cp olive oil
1 tb minced shallots (optional but delicious)
salt and pepper to taste

Trio of Butters:
4.5 sticks of salted butter
2 jalapenos, sliced
1 vanilla bean, plus vanilla extract if needed
5 cloves garlic, minced

*The butters aren't just for the crab. Imagine the jalapeno butter melting over the corn, the garlic butter being sopped up by the crusty bread, the vanilla butter smoothing out the spicy sausage...get creative!

Directions: (serves 4-6)
1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees

2. Get 3 small saucepans going over medium-low heat. Melt 1.5 sticks of butter in each pan. Remove flesh from vanilla bean. Add flesh plus bean to one pan, jalapenos to the second, and garlic to the third. Let simmer for the remainder of meal prep, keeping an eye on it, stirring occasionally, and lowering the heat if necessary. If you get nervous that it'll cook for too long, just remove from heat and put it back on 5 minutes before you serve. To make it pretty: use a spoon to skim the foam off of the top. Carefully pour the butter into a dish, leaving the gritty remnants on the bottom. Garnish with a fresh jalapeno slice, a clove of garlic, and the cooked vanilla seed.

3. Combine sausage, onions, and olive oil. Lay out mixture on a foil-lined baking sheet. Put crab legs in a baking pan with a few teaspoons of water on the bottom to create a little steam.

4. Bake both for about 20 minutes, throwing the bread into the oven on a baking sheet for the last 10 minutes to get it nice and crusty.

5. Salt boiling water and carefully add corn. Boil, uncovered, for ONLY 1 MINUTE. Remove from heat, cover the pot, and let them sit in the water for 10 minutes.

6. Add champagne vinegar to a small bowl. Continuously whisk vinegar while pouring olive oil slowly in a thin stream. Add shallots if you know what's up. Salt and pepper to taste. Pour over greens and tomato wedges.

7. Plate it up, add some lemon wedges, throw parsley over everything to make it look nice, and you're in business!

Happy Birthday to the best dad in the world. Thanks for the great memories, for the endless laughs, and for always paying my car insurance on time.









*What are your favorite flavored butters? Any other butter you'd like to see on here? Leave a comment!

Something on the Side: Sweet Potato Fries

The wonderful sweet potato. Versatile, dependable, naturally sweet, and invited to all family gatherings during the holidays. Basically, everything I'm not. But don't hate, celebrate! This is one hot potato, and today I'm going to let it show off a little skin. Hike up your oven temps and let's get ready to roast.

Ingredients:
2 sweet potatoes, cut into wedges
1/2 cp light brown sugar
2 tb olive oil
1 ts crushed red pepper (more or less to taste)
juice of 1 lime
1/4 cp scallions, chopped
salt and pepper to taste

Directions: (serves 4)
1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees

2. Toss potato wedges in a medium bowl with brown sugar, olive oil, crushed red pepper, lime juice, salt, and pepper. Lay them in a single layer on a foil-lined baking sheet.

3. Bake, uncovered, for 15 minutes. Flip and bake for another 10 minutes. Flip again and let them go longer if you want a deeper caramelization. That's what's up.

4. Remove from oven, garnish with scallions, and serve as a starch alongside chicken, pork, or beef. Or just fill up a bowl and eat them to your heart's content (preferred method).

Happy Eating!