Bison Burgers w/ Balsamic Onions and Roasted Garlic Mayo

Bison meat is a bit of a financial splurge, but what it lacks in budget-friendly pricing, it makes up for with outrageous flavor and countless nutritional benefits. It's leaner, sweeter, and much more decadent than it's beefy competitors. In this case, I was able to cut some costs by keeping the patties small (a little bigger than a slider) and only inviting people over that I actually like to eat them with me. Sorry if you didn’t make the cut.

Since we're emptying out the piggy bank for the protein, you might as well forgo the regular buns and iceberg lettuce as well. Pick up some freshly baked rolls and a good head of Boston Bibb to go with the onions and flavored mayo (which p.s.- is out of control). Lastly, because of it’s low fat content, you'll want to keep the bison meat cooked to medium-rare at most! It tastes so much better, and the bison would have wanted it that way. Okie dokie, let’s get started.

Bison Burgers w/ Balsamic Onions and Roasted Garlic Mayo

Ingredients:

2 lb ground bison

salt and pepper to taste

6 freshly baked rolls, toasted

fancy lettuce (I used Boston Bibb)

sliced jalapenos (optional)

mayo

1 cp mayonnaise

1 head of garlic

1 tb olive oil

pinch of salt

1-2 tb garlic powder

onions

1 onion, sliced

1/2 cp balsamic vinegar

2 tb olive oil

salt and pepper to taste

Directions:

1. Start with the mayo. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Cut the top of the garlic head off, exposing the cloves. Drizzle oil and a pinch of salt over the cloves. Wrap whole head in aluminum foil and bake for 45 minutes. Remove from oven and squeeze cloves into a food processor. Add garlic powder and mayo. Blend until smooth.

2. Now for the onions. In a large frying pan, heat up olive oil over medium heat. Add onions, salt, and pepper. Cook about 5 minutes. Add balsamic vinegar, crank up the heat to medium-high and cook until vinegar is reduced and you are left with beautifully caramelized onions. *Keep an eye on the onions and lower the heat if necessary!

3. Onto the burgers. Form 6 even patties, season with salt and pepper. Cook the burgers to medium-rare (I used my grill for this, but you can use a frying pan as well). Cooking time will vary depending on size of burgers, but start with a few minutes per side.

4. Assemble. Slather the mayo on both sides of the toasted bun. Add the onions, lettuce, and some jalapenos if you like the heat.

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Lemon Parmesan Orzo

To be honest, I'm not entirely amped by this recipe. For tailgating, it's a refreshing alternative to the mayo-laden macaroni and potato salads, while still being muted enough to let the burgers and other game day accoutrements shine through. But on it's own, it can be pretty Plain Jane...and that little lady is NOT welcomed around these parts.

But don't fret, this Plain Jane isn't completely hopeless, she's just in need of a little pizazz! Think Kalamata olives, a blend of spices, some type of protein, and/or a sexy pair of stilettos to round out the look (she wears a size 8). If you can think of anything, let me know. Perhaps I will revamp this recipe for a future post, channel my inner Maury Povich, and do a "You Used to Make Fun of Me- But Look At Me Now!" type of thing. Cheers to the personification of foods. Now let's roll.

Lemon Parmesan Orzo

Ingredients:

1 box orzo

3/4 cp parmesan cheese

1 pint cherry tomatoes, halved

juice of 2 lemons, more to taste

1/2 cup fresh basil, chopped

1/4 cp olive oil

1/4 cp canola oil

salt and pepper to taste

Directions: (Makes a TON...can easily be halved)

1. Cook orzo according to directions, then rinse under cold water to stop the cooking.

2. Add the remaining ingredients and stir until combined.

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Marshmallow Pecan Brownies

When it comes to The 7 Deadly Sins, more often than not I'll go with Gluttony as my preferred route to immorality. Moderation is not my strong point, and this recipe brilliantly exploits that. Needless to say, I'm going to devour most of these brownies before sundown. And I will like it.

Besides, whenever I look for guidance in life and meaningful advice, I turn to song lyrics. In this case, I think Billy Joel said it best: "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. The sinners are much more fun." And by fun, he definitely meant eating brownies...I saw it on Wiki.

So now you have an important decision to make. Are you going to go with The Man from Up Above and arguably the Creator of this cool place we call Earth, or a 6-time Grammy Award winner and one of the best-selling solo artists of all time?

While you decide, I'm going to go preheat my oven.

Marshmallow Pecan Brownies

Ingredients:

Brownies

2 cp sugar

1.5 cp flour

1 stick butter

4 oz semisweet chocolate

1/2 cp unsweetened cocoa

4 eggs

2 ts vanilla extract

1 ts salt

10.5 oz bag of mini marshmallows

1 cp chopped pecans

Frosting

1/2 stick butter, softened

1/3 cp unsweetened cocoa

1/3 cp milk

1 lb powdered sugar

2 ts vanilla extract

pinch of salt

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Microwave 1 stick of butter and 4 oz semisweet chocolate until melted and well-combined. Mix in all other "Brownie" ingredients, besides marshmallows and pecans, and pour into a greased baking pan. Bake until toothpick comes out clean. This can be anywhere from 20-40 minutes, depending on size of pan.

2. Remove from oven, dump the bag of marshmallows over the brownies, and bake for another 8-10 minutes. Remove from oven.

3. Using a whisk or electric beaters, whip up all of the frosting ingredients. Pour over brownies and spread in a thin layer. Sprinkle chopped pecans on top.

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TOFU CHALLENGE ENDS IN WALK-OFF HOMERUN

Last week, the stage was set for a knock-down, drag-out battle between myself and Gina of FiMP to see whose tofu cuisine reigns supreme. Not one to take a challenge lightly, I used most of the week to prepare myself. I decided to go the traditional route: Wheaties, weight-lifting, and performance enhancing drugs.

Unfortunately, I learned that none of those things actually help when it comes to working with curdled soybean milk. Who knew?! But I did lose 2 pounds in the process, and I became an absolute beast in the batting cages. In a way, I already felt like a winner!

But alas, I still had a promise to uphold, and that was to crank out a competition-worthy tofu dish by this Friday. Left with nothing but my basic instincts and a strong sense of pride, I headed straight for the grill. Let's play ball!

Grilled Tofu and Veggies* w/ Pesto

Ingredients:
1 block extra firm tofu, patted dry and cut into wedges
1 zucchini, sliced lengthwise
1 portobello mushroom, cut into strips
1 red bell pepper, cut into thick strips
1/2 eggplant, sliced lengthwise
1/2 red onion, cut into thick slices
3/4 cp pesto (store-bought or homemade)
1/4 cp olive oil for pesto, extra for brushing
salt, pepper, and crushed red pepper to taste
parmesan cheese, toasted pine nuts, and fresh basil for garnish



Directions: (serves 4)
1. Set grill to medium heat. Brush tofu, zucchini, portobello, bell pepper, eggplant, and onion with olive oil. Season everything with salt, pepper, and crushed red pepper. Grill 5 minutes per side, check for doneness. Grill longer if necessary. Remove from heat when done.

2. Assemble veggies on a platter. Top with slices of tofu. Whisk together pesto and 1/4 olive oil until combined, and pour sauce over everything. Garnish with parmesan cheese, toasted pine nuts, and fresh basil. Woot woot.

*Yea, I know most of the produce listed here aren't technically vegetables. For all intents and purposes, let's just go with it.


But Wait...There's More!!!


Tofu Key Lime Pie

Ingredients:
1 block firm tofu
8 oz cream cheese (you know it's gotta be Philly)
1 pkg instant Jello Vanilla Pudding Mix
1/2 cp key lime juice (yes, you can sub reg lime)
1-2 tb agave syrup or other sweetener
pinch of salt
1 prepared graham cracker crust

Directions: (serves 6-8)
1. In a blender or food processor, combine tofu and key lime juice until smooth. Add the remaining ingredients and combine until smooth. Give it a taste. If it's too sour, add more sweetener. Regular limes tend to be more sour than key limes, in case you're curious.

2. Pour mixture into pie crust. Refrigerate at least 2-3 hours.

3. If the pie doesn't up correctly, you have two choices: serve it up as a pudding or throw it in the freezer to harden. It's incredibly difficult to predict what consistency you will end up with when using tofu, because it's always different. Don't let it get you down, it's delicious no matter how you slice it! (couldn't resist)

7 days, 3 boxes of cereal, hundreds of reps, and 2 banned substances later, here is the final product. Would I say it was worth it? You're damn right it was.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have an acceptance speech and a baseball swing to work on.










**Update: Gina posted her entry- Tofu Picatta w/ a side of Baked Rice,Tomato, Spinach, and Tofu. Not gonna lie, I'm a little impressed. Capers and garlic make me weak in the knees, and she took it to the nines. Well played Gina, you have proven to be quite the adversary...this time around.

Jam Out With Your Clam Out: Clams w/ Bacon and Beer

I've been known to jam out with my clam out on more than a few occasions. Let's be honest, I did go to college...it's a cultural thing! My stories as a Penn Stater read like the who's who of collegiate men residing in Central Pennsylvania between 2003-2007. That's a lot of late-night study sessions. So Mom and Dad, if you're reading this- don't say I didn't learn anything!

But I'll stop there. After all, I am a woman of integrity, damn it! And if I go any further, my parents will make me change my name and ask that I never contact them again. Wait a sec...a blessing and a curse.

On second thought, I'm going to need my #2 pencil and a calculator for this one:


Did I set that up correctly, or did I forget to put it all over 2a? I was never good at polynomials.

Regardless, I'm going to hold off on the clam chronicles for now, at least until December 25th (the proof is in the algebra). Instead, let's switch gears and focus on the fact that all week I've been coming up with brilliant ways to sneak alcohol into my favorite foods. I present to you my latest creation: Clams w/ Bacon and Beer!

Clams w/ Bacon and Beer
Ingredients:
2 lbs clams (I used Steamers)
6 slices bacon, chopped
1 medium onion, sliced
3 cloves garlic, minced
16 oz. (1 bottle) beer
salt and pepper to taste
chopped fresh parsley for garnish

Directions: (serves 4)
1. In a large saucepan, fry bacon over medium heat until crisp. Remove bacon and set aside, leaving bacon grease in pan.

2. Reduce heat to low. Add onions, garlic, salt (about 1tb), and pepper to the saucepan and cook in the bacon grease for about 5 minutes.

3. Add beer to the pan and bring to a boil over high heat. Scrape off all of the delicious caramelized bits from the bottom of the pan that got stuck there during cooking. This is called "deglazing a pan". And it's awesome.

4. Rinse clams under cold water. Add them to the saucepan, reduce heat to medium, cover with a lid, and cook 6-10 minutes (or until the clams open up).

5. Taste the broth, season if necessary. Serve the clams in a large bowl with the broth. Garnish with the bacon and fresh parsley.

*How To Eat Steamers: Open the clam, peel off and discard the black neck covering, and remove meat from the shell. Holding the clam by the neck, dip it in the broth and shove the whole thing into your mouth. So good.

TOFU CHALLENGE: It's on Like Donkey Kong

I've been challenged by fellow foodaholic, restaurant critic extraordinaire, and most recently master of delusion Gina over at Food Is My Porn to a TOFU DUEL. She thinks I can't make tofu as sexual and delectable as she can. Perhaps she should write a blog about what it's like to live under a rock.

Although I live and die by the meat stick now, once upon a time I was an aspiring little vegan. What's that Gina? You date a famous Chef? Good. It'll feel that much better when I beat you BOTH into submission. Bring it.

P.S.- Thanks for throwing up the Frat Rat picture of me circa 2k5 on your blog. It just fuels my inability to take part in clean, healthy competition. I expect a tofu post up by next Friday. See you there.

My Guilty Pleasure: PB and Bacon

A few weeks ago, we discussed "What's Your Guilty Food Pleasure?". There were the usual suspects...ice cream, peanut butter, fried food, cheesy food, and a tangy little mustard with pretzels. There were the unusual suspects...cherries, cannoli cream, and a Britney Spears cameo (thanks SeeAliEatSeeAliRun). And then there was this:

"Cheese & peanut butter...together! as a sandwich! Take 2 slices of Kraft American Singles and fill the middle with Skippy Extra Chunky Peanut Butter.... and voila! A peanut butter & cheese sandwich!"- Erica

Ok, umm that's just sick Erica. But I must admit, I admire your enthusiasm and culinary bravado (as long as you keep the latter far away from me).

So now I bet you're dying to know what my Guilty Food Pleasure is. Oh, wait...you're not? That's alright, because I'm going to tell you anyway. It's a Peanut Butter and Bacon Sandwich on Eggo Waffles. It was the fuel of my childhood, and still is one of the best things that's ever happened to me.

Why? Sinfully rich, creamy peanut butter. Crisp, aromatic bacon. Freshly-toasted, buttery Eggos (hit me with the Homestyle). Even on their own, these foods are enough to make me weep. But when brought together, they have a synergistic effect that makes my life worth living. Get it girl!



Peanut Butter and Bacon Sandwich
Ingredients:
2 frozen Eggo waffles
2 tb peanut butter
2 slices thick-cut bacon (more like 5)

Directions: (serves 1)
1. Fry up the bacon, toast the waffles, and brew a pot of coffee (you'll want to dip the sandwich in it, TRUST ME).

2. Assemble sandwich. Love your life.