Paying Homage to Dr. Suess

I do not like

green eggs

and ham!

I do not like them,

Sam-I-am.

You do not like them.

SO you say.

Try them! Try them!

And you may.

Try them and you may I say.

Sam!

If you will let me be,

I will try them.

You will see.

Green Eggs and Ham

Ingredients:

3 eggs

1 cp fresh spinach

2 tb pesto

splash of water

salt and pepper to taste

ham (Canadian bacon, smoked

pork loin, ham steaks, bacon, etc.)

Directions: (serves 1)

1. In a blender, combine eggs, spinach, pesto, water, salt, and pepper (optional).

2. Scramble eggs as you normally would. Fry up the ham. Done!

Say!

I like green eggs and ham!

I do! I like them, Sam-I-am!

And I would eat them in a boat!

And I would eat them with a goat.

And I will eat them in the rain.

And in the dark. And on a train.

And in a car. And in a tree.

They are so good so good you see!

Are You Ready For Some Football?

For most of the Free World, a calendar year is broken up into four distinct seasons: winter, spring, summer, and fall. But for a particularly special group of people, it is broken up into only two: football season, and waiting for football season. If you find yourself in the latter group, then you know what time it is.

The thrill of NFL preseason came and went a few weeks ago (ie- about 10 minutes after the first kickoff). This, of course, gave way to the unsurmountable anticipation of a regular season romp. This week, fans can take comfort in knowing that tonight will be the last Monday night of 2k10 without the pigskin, starting off with a season opener straight from the Superdome. And yes, that means Reggie Bush will be making a cameo. Now that's a piece of chocolate I just can't resist. But I digress.

On the NCAA front, collegiate teams just finished up their first week of play. For most, it served as a fun opportunity to play confidence-boosting cupcake teams and a precursor for what's in store this upcoming season. For my alma mater, it was a fairly unconvincing way to prepare for a road trip down to Tuscaloosa next week to play the #1 team in the nation. Hmm...cheers to Joepa and true freshmen anyone?!

Anyway, let's kick-off the season by sharing some of our favorite tailgating foods and recipes. After all, if you find yourself playing me in beer pong this year, you will need something to absorb all of that Natty Light you'll be drinking (red party cups tap into my competitive nature). I won the coin toss, so I'll go first:

Vanilla Beer Nuts

Buffalo Chicken Dip

Bison Burgers w/ Balsamic Onions and Roasted Garlic Mayo

Lemon Parmesan Orzo

Marshmallow Pecan Brownies

I showed you mine, now you show me yours. What are your favorite tailgating foods and recipes?

Vanilla Beer Nuts

This recipe hails straight from the comments section of Cheers to Sobriety! (Pears in Red Wine Sauce). See what happens when you comment, people?! So a big shout out and thank you to "Anonymous" a.k.a. Mike P. (a fellow Big 10er from IU) for giving us this tailgating treat.

To show my gratitude, I will resist the overwhelming urge to make inappropriate yet hilarious jokes about how our friendship almost ended in a restraining order. Good times.

Beer Nuts*

Ingredients:
1 lb salted, roasted peanuts (no honey roasted, clashes with beer)
2 cans beer (a real man beer...no light beer here!)
1 cp sugar
2 tb vanilla extract

Directions: (serves 4 during summer, 2 during football season)
1. Bring all ingredients, besides peanuts, to a boil in a medium saucepan. Reduce heat and simmer until liquid is reduced by half. Add peanuts and let simmer an additional 10 minutes. Remove from saucepan, lay out on a foil-lined pan, and let cool.

*Recipe has been altered slightly because he really didn't know what the heck he was talking about.

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Buffalo Chicken Dip

I ate a ton of this every weekend while tailgating in college, which probably (ok, DEFINITELY) contributed to my achievement of a very special collegiate rite of passage, "The Freshman 15". Except, being the over-achiever that I am, I actually gained 30 pounds instead. Why be like everyone else, right?

Of course you can lighten this up by using 1/3 less fat cream cheese, 2% cheddar cheese, and chicken breast...but then what's the point?! It's sinful, it's fattening, and it's worth every calorie. So if you're gonna do it, do it right!

Buffalo Chicken Dip

Ingredients:

1/2 rotisserie chicken, meat cut or broken up into bite-sized pieces

2- 8 oz blocks of Philly cream cheese

1.5 cp shredded cheddar cheese

1 cp ranch dressing (can use blue cheese)

3/4 cp Frank's Red Hot

1/3 cp celery, finely sliced

Directions:

1. In a large saucepan, heat up all of the ingredients on medium to medium-high heat, stirring continuously until well-combined and heated through. Transfer to a crockpot on it's lowest setting or a large bowl and garnish with celery leaves. Best served warm, but can be served cold or room-temp as well. Serve alongside crackers and raw veggies.

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Bison Burgers w/ Balsamic Onions and Roasted Garlic Mayo

Bison meat is a bit of a financial splurge, but what it lacks in budget-friendly pricing, it makes up for with outrageous flavor and countless nutritional benefits. It's leaner, sweeter, and much more decadent than it's beefy competitors. In this case, I was able to cut some costs by keeping the patties small (a little bigger than a slider) and only inviting people over that I actually like to eat them with me. Sorry if you didn’t make the cut.

Since we're emptying out the piggy bank for the protein, you might as well forgo the regular buns and iceberg lettuce as well. Pick up some freshly baked rolls and a good head of Boston Bibb to go with the onions and flavored mayo (which p.s.- is out of control). Lastly, because of it’s low fat content, you'll want to keep the bison meat cooked to medium-rare at most! It tastes so much better, and the bison would have wanted it that way. Okie dokie, let’s get started.

Bison Burgers w/ Balsamic Onions and Roasted Garlic Mayo

Ingredients:

2 lb ground bison

salt and pepper to taste

6 freshly baked rolls, toasted

fancy lettuce (I used Boston Bibb)

sliced jalapenos (optional)

mayo

1 cp mayonnaise

1 head of garlic

1 tb olive oil

pinch of salt

1-2 tb garlic powder

onions

1 onion, sliced

1/2 cp balsamic vinegar

2 tb olive oil

salt and pepper to taste

Directions:

1. Start with the mayo. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Cut the top of the garlic head off, exposing the cloves. Drizzle oil and a pinch of salt over the cloves. Wrap whole head in aluminum foil and bake for 45 minutes. Remove from oven and squeeze cloves into a food processor. Add garlic powder and mayo. Blend until smooth.

2. Now for the onions. In a large frying pan, heat up olive oil over medium heat. Add onions, salt, and pepper. Cook about 5 minutes. Add balsamic vinegar, crank up the heat to medium-high and cook until vinegar is reduced and you are left with beautifully caramelized onions. *Keep an eye on the onions and lower the heat if necessary!

3. Onto the burgers. Form 6 even patties, season with salt and pepper. Cook the burgers to medium-rare (I used my grill for this, but you can use a frying pan as well). Cooking time will vary depending on size of burgers, but start with a few minutes per side.

4. Assemble. Slather the mayo on both sides of the toasted bun. Add the onions, lettuce, and some jalapenos if you like the heat.

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Lemon Parmesan Orzo

To be honest, I'm not entirely amped by this recipe. For tailgating, it's a refreshing alternative to the mayo-laden macaroni and potato salads, while still being muted enough to let the burgers and other game day accoutrements shine through. But on it's own, it can be pretty Plain Jane...and that little lady is NOT welcomed around these parts.

But don't fret, this Plain Jane isn't completely hopeless, she's just in need of a little pizazz! Think Kalamata olives, a blend of spices, some type of protein, and/or a sexy pair of stilettos to round out the look (she wears a size 8). If you can think of anything, let me know. Perhaps I will revamp this recipe for a future post, channel my inner Maury Povich, and do a "You Used to Make Fun of Me- But Look At Me Now!" type of thing. Cheers to the personification of foods. Now let's roll.

Lemon Parmesan Orzo

Ingredients:

1 box orzo

3/4 cp parmesan cheese

1 pint cherry tomatoes, halved

juice of 2 lemons, more to taste

1/2 cup fresh basil, chopped

1/4 cp olive oil

1/4 cp canola oil

salt and pepper to taste

Directions: (Makes a TON...can easily be halved)

1. Cook orzo according to directions, then rinse under cold water to stop the cooking.

2. Add the remaining ingredients and stir until combined.

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Marshmallow Pecan Brownies

When it comes to The 7 Deadly Sins, more often than not I'll go with Gluttony as my preferred route to immorality. Moderation is not my strong point, and this recipe brilliantly exploits that. Needless to say, I'm going to devour most of these brownies before sundown. And I will like it.

Besides, whenever I look for guidance in life and meaningful advice, I turn to song lyrics. In this case, I think Billy Joel said it best: "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. The sinners are much more fun." And by fun, he definitely meant eating brownies...I saw it on Wiki.

So now you have an important decision to make. Are you going to go with The Man from Up Above and arguably the Creator of this cool place we call Earth, or a 6-time Grammy Award winner and one of the best-selling solo artists of all time?

While you decide, I'm going to go preheat my oven.

Marshmallow Pecan Brownies

Ingredients:

Brownies

2 cp sugar

1.5 cp flour

1 stick butter

4 oz semisweet chocolate

1/2 cp unsweetened cocoa

4 eggs

2 ts vanilla extract

1 ts salt

10.5 oz bag of mini marshmallows

1 cp chopped pecans

Frosting

1/2 stick butter, softened

1/3 cp unsweetened cocoa

1/3 cp milk

1 lb powdered sugar

2 ts vanilla extract

pinch of salt

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Microwave 1 stick of butter and 4 oz semisweet chocolate until melted and well-combined. Mix in all other "Brownie" ingredients, besides marshmallows and pecans, and pour into a greased baking pan. Bake until toothpick comes out clean. This can be anywhere from 20-40 minutes, depending on size of pan.

2. Remove from oven, dump the bag of marshmallows over the brownies, and bake for another 8-10 minutes. Remove from oven.

3. Using a whisk or electric beaters, whip up all of the frosting ingredients. Pour over brownies and spread in a thin layer. Sprinkle chopped pecans on top.

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